Saturday, September 16, 2006

Men Rules!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side, Now here are the rules from the male side.

  • Please note... these are all numbered "1" - ON PURPOSE!

  • Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that

  • Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

  • aturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

  • hopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

  • Crying is blackmail.

  • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

    • Subtle hints do not work!

    • Strong hints do not work!

    • Obvious hints do not work!

    • JUST SAY IT!

  • Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

  • A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

  • If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us

  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

  • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done

    • Not both

    • If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials

  • Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we

  • ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.

    • Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

    • We have no idea what a mauve is.

  • If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

  • If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle

  • If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear

  • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really

  • Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:

    • Sex, Sport, or Cars

  • You have enough clothes

  • You have too many shoes

  • I am in shape. Round is a shape.

  • Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
    couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

  • Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

  • Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education

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