Men Rules!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side, Now here are the rules from the male side.

• Please note... these are all numbered "1" - ON PURPOSE!


• Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that


• Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


• aturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.


• hopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.


• Crying is blackmail.


• Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:




• Subtle hints do not work!


• Strong hints do not work!


• Obvious hints do not work!


• JUST SAY IT!




• Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question


• Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for


• A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor


• Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days


• If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us


• If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one


• You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done




• Not both


• If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself




• Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials


• Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we


• ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.




• Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.


• We have no idea what a mauve is.




• If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.


• If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle


• If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear


• When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really


• Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:




• Sex, Sport, or Cars




• You have enough clothes


• You have too many shoes


• I am in shape. Round is a shape.


• Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
  couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.


• Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.


• Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education