Skip to main content

Men Rules!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side, Now here are the rules from the male side.


  • Please note... these are all numbered "1" - ON PURPOSE!

  • Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that

  • Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

  • aturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

  • hopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

  • Crying is blackmail.

  • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:


    • Subtle hints do not work!

    • Strong hints do not work!

    • Obvious hints do not work!

    • JUST SAY IT!


  • Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for

  • A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

  • If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us

  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

  • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done


    • Not both

    • If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself


  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials

  • Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we

  • ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.


    • Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

    • We have no idea what a mauve is.


  • If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

  • If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle

  • If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear

  • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really

  • Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:


    • Sex, Sport, or Cars


  • You have enough clothes

  • You have too many shoes

  • I am in shape. Round is a shape.

  • Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
    couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

  • Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

  • Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education

Comments

  1. LOL

    Some of these rules actually make sense!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. y3ni min kotor ma ento elzlam mo 3arfin sho bedkom and you have all an 1000 charachters you put rules zay haik. rule mean rule not 1000 rules i dont know if u get what i want to say ;(
    y3ni its enough one rule maxi 5 not 1000 !!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hillarious !! and VERY true :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Women Rules!!! - Mind - The Only Place Where You Can Read My Mind!September 18, 2006 at 12:48 AM

    [...] We have heared ?¢‚Ǩ?ìMen Rules?¢‚Ǩ¬ù On Jad?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s blog. Now here are the rules from the female side. ?¢‚Ǩ¬¢ Please note?¢‚Ǩ¬¶ these are all numbered ?¢‚Ǩ?ì1? - ON PURPOSE! [...]

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

اهم التطورات العلمية في العام ٢٠١٩

Dear Microsoft : It's over. Our relationship just hasn't been working for a while, and now, this is it. I'm leaving you for another Operating system. I know this isn't a good time--you're down with yet another virus. I do hope you feel better soon--really, I do--but I, too, have to move on with my life. Fact is, in the entire time I've known you, you seem to always have a virus or an occasional worm. You should really see a doctor. That said, I just can't continue with this relationship any longer. I know you say you'll fix things, that next time it'll go better--but that's what you said the last time--and the time before that. Each time I believed you. Well, not any longer. You cheater! The truth is there's nothing more you can say to make things better. I know about your secret marriage to patent. You say you two are not seeing each other anymore, but I just don't believe it. You say you can live without patent, and I've heard that

القضاء: لا دليل على أن مقتحمي الكونغرس خططوا لقتل مشرعين

أكد محققو وزارة العدل الأمريكية أنهم لم يجدوا حتى الآن أي دليل على أن أنصار دونالد ترامب الذين هاجموا مبنى الكونغرس الأسبوع الماضي خططوا لاحتجاز مسؤولين منتخبين وقتلهم. يأتي ذلك في الوقت الذي أُوقفت فيه الشرطة، الجمعة، رجلا مسلّحا في واشنطن خلال محاولته عبور إحدى نقاط التفتيش في محيط مبنى الكونغرس حيث ستقام الأربعاء مراسم تنصيب جو بايدن. في ذات الوقت أفادت شبكة NBC الأمريكية، بأن مكتب التحقيقات الفيدرالي يحقق في إمكانية تمويل حكومات أو جماعات اقتحام مبنى الكونغرس. وقالت مصادر للشبكة: "المكتب يحقق في مدفوعات "بيتكوين" بقيمة 500 ألف دولار، يبدو أنه تم تحويلها من قبل مواطن فرنسي، لشخصيات ومجموعات رئيسية يمينية قبل اندلاع أعمال الشغب". وفي جلسة استماع في محكمة أريزونا بشأن اعتقال أحد مثيري الشغب جاكوب تشانسلي الذي يؤمن بنظرية المؤامرة ومن أتباع الحركة اليمينية المتطرفة "كيو-آنون"، تراجع المدعون الفيدراليون عن اتهامات سابقة بأن أنصار ترامب كانوا يخططون "لاحتجاز مسؤولين منتخبين وقتلهم" في هجوم السادس من كانون الثاني/ يناير في واشنطن. ع